Nations With Problems
by ultra-violet-box
Summary: Germany and Russia are at home when something very unexpected happens.


**I made this just because I was bored and had nothing better to do. For some reason I could imagine Germany and Russia acting out Llamas With Hats 4. x3**

**I do not own Llamas With Hats. It belongs to SecretAgentBob on YouTube, not me. **

"Russia! You've tracked mud all over the carpet!" Germany said, groaning as he noticed the dark stains on the floor.

"Now that right there is a mess," the other nation agreed, his eyes scanning the ground.

"I just had it cleaned yesterday, Russia," Germany said in exasperation.

Russia looked surprised. "I'm not responsible for this. I've been jamming on the saxophone all morning."

"They're clearly your footprints, Russia," the annoyed nation stated.

Russia defended himself. "There is an imposter on the loose!"

"They lead directly to you!"

"Clue number one; the imposter is a phantom," the accused nation said calmly, an innocent smile upon his face.

Germany sighed. "Russia, stop avoiding-"

He was cut off as a loud boom sounded from outside. Their wall was shattered; Germany dived to the floor to avoid getting hit as badly. Once his ears had stopped ringing from the explosion, he looked up and saw to his horror that the whole city was on fire, a huge cloud shaped like a mushroom rising from deeper inside the array of buildings. He stared at the scene in horror before getting to his feet and turning back to the other nation. He shuddered when he realised Russia still had that unbroken smile on his face. "Russia!"

"Happy birthday!" the man replied, looking rather pleased with himself.

Germany stared at him. "It's not…please tell me you had nothing to do with this!"

"Why don't you blow out your candle?" Russia suggested.

"Y-you've gone too far this time, Russia!" Germany hoped this was all some weird dream.

Russia tipped his head to one side. "What's that? It's hard to hear you over the sound of melting city!"

"How did you even do this?"

"A dollop of fairy dust," the nation replied.

"Russia." Germany's eyes narrowed disbelievingly.

"I ripped the tag off a mattress."

"This isn't funny, Russia!" the German protested.

"Who's laughing?" Russia looked puzzled. "Clearly not all the people who just exploded."

"I'm leaving." Germany began to edge away from the sadistic nation. "I've had enough of this."

"But think of all the perfectly roasted Latvians we get to munch on now!" Russia told him, a hint of desperation in his voice.

This caught Germany off guard. "What? Why?"

"Because we're friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked Latvian together," the other nation told him.

"That's not friendship, Russia," Germany said in disgust, "that's sick."

He shrugged, his scarf blowing slightly in the wind that was now coming in through the destroyed wall. "Well, then you're probably not going to like your birthday decorations."

"It's not even my-" Germany broke off as he realised that balloons were floating towards them. And attached to the balloons was… "Oh my God."

"Surprise!" Russia's smile grew wider, and he looked even more pleased with himself.

"Oh no…ugh!" Germany stared in horror as the first bunch of balloons floating past, a dead person hanging from the strings. He didn't look very hard, but he could see that the person was from Latvia from their hair and just their body shape- or at least what was left of it.

Russia looked a bit upset. "I'm sorry, I thought you liked Latvians. Obviously there's a miscommunication."

"Th-this is…awful, Russia." Germany tried his best to avoid the floating bodies as they floated past him.

"You're right, it's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured in my head," Russia agreed, sounding defeated.

"I think I'm going to throw up- oh God, one touched me." Germany edged to one side as one of the bodies brushed his shoulder.

"This was clearly the wrong way to go," Russia stated as he watched the Latvians float by.

"You think, Russia?"

Russia shrugged again. "What can I say? I expected them to be cooked more. Raw Latvian is just gross."

"That isn't the problem, Russia!" Germany stared at him in disbelief. "Why did you think any of this was a good idea?"

"Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence."

There was an awkward silence between both of them.

Germany then spoke. "Oh."

"I don't understand how you keep forgetting that."


End file.
